Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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