"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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