well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
