M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
