I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize