i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
