You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
