ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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