her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
