It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
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Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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