Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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