it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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