Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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