Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
