I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
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He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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