Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
