My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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