I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
