thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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