Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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