she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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