I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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