found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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