You work out of a Hotel?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
