return my video game
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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