hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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