I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
