hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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