what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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