Kiss
Puke
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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