Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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