I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
