Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
