I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
