I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
