That's intense
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
