Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
