Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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