She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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