My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
