he shaved USA in his pubs
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
