talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
