The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
