I feel like I'm in dance class right now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Randomize
