How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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