Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am one with the molecules
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
