Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
