I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
where does the pee come out of this thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
