Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
