I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
