Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Terrible idea I love it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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