this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
