My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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