so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
