Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
