i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
