You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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