I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
