I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
