**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
