is your mom at the bar?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i out mim tonsoeep
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