I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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