Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
