update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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