im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
