I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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