I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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