Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
