Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
