Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
